Melbourne has been granted the title of 2nd worst average Uber rating in the country. The only place we're better than is Perth—they've got to have fun somehow, I guess. Here's what's going on in Melbourne this weekend, and whatever you do, DON'T be sick in the back of your taxi home.

The Headlines

• The age-old backpacker Christmas debate—whether to bother attempting to cook a turkey in your share house, whether to go out for dinner, or whether to sack it all off and BBQ on the beach—is a tough one. Well, if you’ve decided to eat out, here is a round-up of some of the best available around Melbourne. As expected, you won't be able to find a sub-$100 Christmas Day deal, but at least it'll take away the risk of disappointing home-cooked roasties and a dry turkey.

• In the latest round of flight sales, Qantas is back with a little pre-Christmas treat. Until 12th December, you can bag one of 800,000 cheap flights across 170 routes and to 17 destinations. Prices begin at $109, with the Melbourne to Tassie flight included in the lower bracket. Available dates range from Feb-June, so it's a perfect excuse to get an autumn getaway booked in after a stunning summer in the city.

• Groove Armada have been announced as the latest act set to take over the Royal Botanic Gardens next March. The UK dance duo will take over the park on Sunday 9th March, just a few nights after Róisín Murphy treats us to a set of her own. The Live at the Gardens event will see the Observatory Precinct become a live music venue under the stars. Throw in some warm end-of-summer weather, and we're in for an absolute treat. Tickets go on sale next Tuesday 10th December at 11.00am sharp.

Where to Go on Friday

The Melbourne Christmas Carnival launches today in Alexandra Gardens on the Southbank, running up to Christmas Eve. It offers all the classic carnival rides like dodgems and a ferris wheel, carnival food like greasy doughnuts and potato twisters, games with soft toy prizes, and games with questionable safety. It'll be just like being back in high school. It's free to get in and $12 per ride if you fancy visiting.

Where to Go on Saturday

If you fancy a more wholesome Saturday night, the Moonlight Cinema schedule is in full swing, and "It Ends With Us" will take to the screen tomorrow night. You can take your own snacks and drinks in, so grab a blanket and some bubbly and make an evening of it. Things could obviously change (four seasons in a day blah blah), but at the moment, the weather looks set to hold out too as an extra bonus.

Where to Go on Sunday

Two Door Cinema Club and Declan McKenna have teamed up for a big Aussie tour, and they're swinging by the Rod Laver Arena on Sunday. There are still tickets left to see this random but iconic duo perform all the hits that you've not listened to in a while, starting at $120. It's your chance to hear Declan McKenna performing the ultimate summer song 'Brazil' live in the flesh—a must-attend event.

Where to Eat and Drink

Grazeland is a food hub in Spotswood with lovely views over the Yarra River and CBD. With over 50 vendors packed into repurposed shipping containers, it's like a food festival every weekend. The offerings cover everything from curry to pizza, with options for vegans and carnivores alike. Live music kicks off each weekend, turning a simple dinner into a bit of an event. It'll set you back $4 to get in, and they're open Friday to Sunday.

Where to Live

Fairy Floss is absolutely rife with Christmas sublets right now, so it's only fair we share another one. Today's pick is a one-bed apartment in Collingwood with a very homely look we don't think you'll want to leave when your time's up. It's available from December 22nd-January 3rd, so you can spend New Year’s Eve looking out at the gorgeous skyline view if you're not up for battling the Southbank crowds.

Core selling point: a suntrap terrace.

Where to Work

Wagtime Co. in Hawthorn East is hiring for a Dog Bather, so you can spend your days giving dogs a gorgeous makeover with a wash and blow-dry. Full training on the job is provided, but it you've hosed down your dog in your back garden before, we’re sure that makes you more than qualified. If you can cope with the stench of wet dog for hours a day, best of luck to you.

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