It’s that time of year again when you get to watch fit men sprint around an oval pitch while having absolutely no clue what’s going on. The AFL is back this weekend, and whether you're in it for the points or the pints, it’s a fun time to live in the sporting capital. Here’s what else is happening over the next few days.

The Headlines

• Esoteric Festival, due to happen this weekend in regional Victoria, has been cancelled at the eleventh hour due to a permit being refused. This hippy festival, popular with psychedelic-loving Melbourne residents was due to kick-off today, with several thousand ticket holders even having already made the trip to the site. If you were unlucky enough to have tickets, unpack your cowboy hat and parasol, and read on for what you can do instead.

• Melbourne’s beloved pan-Asian eatery, Bang Bang, has landed in the backpacker hotspot of St Kilda. Following the success of its other locations, the new venue on Fitzroy Street will serve up signature dishes like crispy Sichuan eggplant, 12-hour beef brisket gua bao, and twice-cooked pork belly for us all to enjoy. Just another place to add to the ever-growing hit list.

• This girl has done the hard work for those of us trying to look stylish in Melbourne, she's rounded up all the latest trends in Melbourne and what the cool girls are wearing. We all know the Aussie brands do it best, and she has also called out the best ones to shop at to keep up with the trends. We must admit we are still on the fence with capri pants, but each to their own.

Where to Eat and Drink

You might know Abacus in South Yarra as a hotspot for Lululemon-clad matcha lovers—and you wouldn’t be wrong. But hiding in plain sight is an Italian twist that’s worth a visit. Every Friday, the Chapel St favourite transforms into a bottomless pasta kitchen, and we haven’t stopped thinking about it all week. You each get served a small-ish portion of four different pastas. Once you've done the tasting, you can go back for more of whichever you liked the most. At just $28pp, it's a very fun and tasty way to spend a Friday evening.

Where to Live

It doesn't sound like just anybody will make it into this Brunswick house. The current tenant and Chilli, the toy poodle x Australian terrier, are looking for an icon to move in and join the ranks. If you're anything less, keep reading, we guess. The room comes with plenty of morning sun, a decorative fireplace, high ceilings, and freestanding wardrobes with drawers in return.

Core selling point: fantastic kerb appeal.

Where to Work

The Royal South Yarra Lawn Tennis Club Sunday sessions don't quite live up to serving the biggest stars at the AO, but you might get to watch some semi-pros play a game or two from the kitchen windows if you secure today's vacancy. They're on the lookout for a kitchen hand/dishwasher to join their team. Expect plenty of cleaning, dishwashing, and maybe even some basic food prep if you're lucky. You never know—this could be your ticket to a job with a courtside view.

Where to Go on Saturday

We've had cheese and wine, and schooner and scoops, but this weekend's wacky festival of choice is the Port Phillip Mussel & Jazz Festival. This free seafood street party in South Melbourne sees a stacked line-up of jazz performers on Saturday and Sunday from 11 am - 9 pm alongside some tasty seafood (and non-seafood—the name is clearly a gimmick). The road will be closed on both days for you to freely roam the streets and enjoy the vibes.

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Where to Go on Sunday

There's a day rave happening in Fitzroy this Sunday to celebrate Gertrude Street's beloved Poodle Bar's fifth birthday. This event will see the Poodle Private Dining Rave Room make its debut for a bit of daytime dancing. It's free for those who RSVP, so take a look at the link on their Instagram to secure your spot. They're even firing up the BBQ for the occasion to serve up some tasty focaccia sandwiches.

Bonus: Where to Go on Sunday

The Birdman Rally did get a nod in yesterday's Melbourne 417, but this attraction at the Moomba Festival is just too good not to mention. This hilarious event happening on Sunday sees participants donning some sort of flying machine and launching themselves off a platform into the Yarra, attempting to get a bit of flight on the way in. It's bound to be quite the spectacle, you can watch last year’s Birdman Rally on YouTube here if you don't believe us.

Enjoying the Melbourne 417?