We were today years old when we found out saying 'you alright' to an Aussie apparently means you want to start a fight—according to a TikTok doing the rounds. Guess we'll do some research and report back. Here is what Wednesday has to offer you.

The Headlines

• In very exciting news, a huge street party is returning to Chapel Street in Feb after a 25-year hiatus. We can confidently guess that no one reading this has experienced it before, but it sounds like we're in for an absolute treat. Over 100,000 Melburnians are expected to grace the beloved street, which is set to be filled with live music, loads of food stands, wellness classes, and even a classic car show. Here's a video from the last one, featuring outfits you'd still see on the streets of Brunswick today.

• There is no more telling sign that summer is back than the legendary Queen Vic night market starting it's summer season. Tonight marks the first Wednesday night market, where hordes of people flock to experience the city’s busiest midweek food extravaganza, with stalls from every corner of the globe. It's a well known fact that the Melbourne initiation is taking the classic fairy light market laneway pic with the skyline in the background, get yourself down.

• One of Melbourne's most talked about festivals, Pitch, has announced its lineup for March next year. In true Aussie festival fashion, dust-covered, headscarf-clad, doof-stick holding festival attendees can expect a bill of electronic and techno DJs that not many people have heard of. Jokes aside, Honey Dijon, Midland, and Joy Obirson are among the big names gracing the stage. Highlight of ours from the list has to be 'DJ Fuckoff'.

Where to Eat and Drink

Daughter In Law prides itself on being completely and utterly unauthentic. It serves up Australian-Indian food in a playful and vibrant atmosphere, reinventing traditional Indian food and serving it up with a twist—imagine pizza bread naans and boozy mango lassis. It’s owned and operated by restauranteur and chef Jessi Singh, adding to a number of creative restaurants all over the world. Perfect for street-food-style sharers in this CBD joint.

Where to Live

Now the news about the Chapel St festival is out, we must simply move there to get involved with all the action. Enter… this room in Prahran, a mere two-minute walk away. The current tenant is seeking someone sociable to go on walks and out for dinner with rather than your 'typical' housemate, AKA no awkward kitchen interactions please.

Core selling point: stunning skyline views.

Where to Work

People's differing approaches to wrapping presents is a simple way to split society in two. You've got those who absolutely despise it and go for the throw the candle into an old gift bag unwrapped technique vs those who thrive on raiding Flying Tiger's sparkly ribbon section. If you fall into the latter, have we got the job for you. This company is seeking an Expert Gift Wrapper to stand at the till at a range of booze shops, wrapping bottles for Christmas shoppers. So, if you know your way around a roll of wrapping paper, get your CV in shape—gift-wrapped of course.

Where to Go

If you’ve simply got no swipes left in you and are teetering on deleting Hinge once and for all, maybe it’s time to consider a spot of speed dating. Lona in St Kilda is hosting a real life mingling event for the over 26s out there who are looking to meet the one (or for 50% off their food bill). The format is as follows: ladies stay seated, men rotate every five minutes, scorecards revealed 12 hours later—kind of fun, kind of terrifying. But, you never know, it could be a free drink token one day, then partner visa the next.